Nooma 001- Rain

Believe it or not, I feel that crying is good for the soul. That sudden release of emotions can feel so liberating. Crying is not admitting to weakness but admitting that you are human and not strong enough to handle life's problems alone, that help is needed.

For the first time in a long time, I fell to my knees crying this weekend. The stress, madness, and overwhelming feelings over the past few weeks (despite that I had two breaks away from Springfield) hit me hard. I've felt like I've been riding such an emotional rollercoaster, similar to the Millennium Force at Cedar Point! The ups and downs of homework, papers, exams and friends truly has tested my patience, my loyalty....and my faith. My faith that God would not let me feel this hurt, stress and loneliness for no reason at all.

I fell to my knees crying this weekend and finally gave it all to God. Something I struggled with through college was giving up only what I wanted. "Well, God, you can have this. But really, I know what I'm doing with this, let me handle it". Sound familiar? Don't lie, you know you've gone through the same thing. I want to give it all to God because I know there is no other way for me to get through the challenges of every day life. I don't want to stress myself out over the little things, over situations that I do not have control over. So if I put it in His hands, then I know that whatever comes of it is His will, not my own.

Rob Bell talks about how we don't need to have our lives perfect and all-together in order to have a relationship with God. He calls us out to come to Him broken, with all our messes and our junk. And when we cry out to God, He is near. I thought I had it all together, although some days I knew I didn't. I guess I never really had it all together to begin with. So I finally held out my hands with all my junk and dropped it in His hands. "I can't do this alone anymore. Take it. Do with it what you want. But please don't let me get hurt again."